Lily, look at me
by PammaPoo
Summary: She can’t see. All that was left for her was darkness. She search throw the fog of blackness, trying heard to look at his way. He who was there, waiting for her with his open arms.He who was there, waiting for her to love him back…
1. She can't see

**Disclamer: **I do not own anything. Well, someday i might. But i'm to young to really own anything right now...I would really want to open a coffee shop though...my store would be so cute! I'll have all kinds of cake in my store, and it will be on the news as, 'Best coffee shop of the year'. And all the famus people will come, heehee. Ok, i'm blabing. The point is, i own nothing.

**I know I sould have work on my other fic first before i have any new one out, but i can't help it! I'll just see if anyone would like it, if not i'll just stop writing it. I hope you'll like it as much as i do! Rated R for later chapter.**

**Let the drama begins!**

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_**She Cant See…**_

The warm summer breeze swept into the room, making the small bell that hanged by the window farm shakes with soft bell noises. White cartons were swaying like a white living frame. Everything in the room was white; almost swallow the person that was sitting on the bed, her red hair softly sways by the wind. Her eyes were close; her pale hands were fold on her lab. Her angelic tic face fell with sadness.

There was silent upon the air though once in a while, one could hear a bird chirping. The silent were broken when the sound of foot steps out side the hall way could be heard. The muffle sounds of people talking behind the close door echo into the room.

"Let me see her! Please! Let me in!"

The 16 year old redhead squeeze her eyes shut tighter at the familiar voices out side her room, her knuckles white from clinching the bed edge.

"Mr. Potter, please keep your voice down, patients are resting in this building" said the soft voice of the Healer

"I don't fucking care! I want to see Lily! Let me see her! Get the fuck out of my way!" the teenage voice grow louder

Lily took a deep breath before she open her eyes. Still the same beautiful emerald green eyes that had just opened, but something was missing...

"Mate, com yourself down. We could get kick out of this building" said the third voice out side the room

"Do I look like I give a fuck, Padfoot? Let me in! I just wanted to see if she's alright!"

"Of course she's not alright" said the fourth voice, it seems that he had just appear in the scene

"Mr. Evans! Please tell this healer to let me in! I need to see your daughter!" said the furious voice of James Potter

"Sir, James just wanted to see if she's alright then he'll leave" Sirius said, sounding calm

"You wanted to know if my daughter is alright or not?" Mr. Evans snaps "Fine! Let me tell you how she is. She. Is. Blind. Did you hear me? She can't see anymore! She lost her ability to see! There! Are you happy? Now, get the hell out of my sight!"

A tear slip out of Lily's lifeless eyes. Silence fills the air as Mr. Evans finishes his furious speech.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper on you…it's just…" he spoke again but Sirius cut him of with a shaky voice

"She's what?"

"You heard me" Mr. Evans said, sounding tired "Now get yourself and your friend out of here"

Silence

"Come on mate…lets go…" Sirius said quietly, then the sound of foot step follow suit

The door open and Mr. Evans entered the room, he rush beside his daughter and pull her in to a warm tight hug.

"Sweet heart, you're awake!" he said softly, kissing her temple "Are you hungry? Hm? Tell me what you want, sweetie, and I'll get it for you in a heart beat"

"I want to die, daddy" Lily whisper through her father's shirt, she could feel the hug tighten

"Please don't say that, love. If you love me, please don't say that again"

"I'm sorry, daddy" Lily said softly, she let another tears slip out of the eyes then ask,"Where's mummy?"

Mr. Evans stroke his daughter's hair soothingly, he don't want to tell her that her mother was in the next room, unconscious. The news of their littlest daughter become blind had broken her heart to pieces.

"She's picking Petunia up, dear" he lied, the truth is, Petunia didn't even know. He knew that Petunia won't even care.

"I should have listened to Potter…" Lily said out of nowhere "I shouldn't have been so nosy, if I didn't follow Potter and his friend to the Whomping willow then I wouldn't get hurt…I'm sorry I disappointed you, daddy…I should have minded my own business"

"It's not your fault, sweet heart. Don't apologize" he said, loosen his grip on her to wipe away all her tears. "Be strong, your not alone in this, me and your mother will always be by your side. Professor Dumbledore will take good care of you at school."

"What's the point of going to school at all, daddy? I can't see…"

"I told you, sweetie. Dumbledore will take good care of you, he'll figure a way to help you" her father said softly and gently let go of her. "Now, let's eat! I got banana Ice cream for you, your favorite!" this made Lily smile, but it was a sad small smile

"I love you, daddy" Lily said, her eyes searching through the darkness to look at her father's way

Mr. Evans looked at his daughter with tearful eyes, and nod quietly, not wanting his daughter to hear his weak voice.

…

"Lily's what?" ask an injure Remus from the hospital wing's bed. His face full of terror mixed with shock

"I can't believe it either…her head must have hit the tree very hard and kill her vision some how" said Sirius from beside the bed. He looked at James who was sitting on the floor, his back resting by the wall, his knee up to his cheast, looking like a lost little boy. He hadn't talk since yesterday after they got back from St. Mungo's.

Sirius sigh sadly, how could things go this wrong? He thought he had watch Remus very closely that night…

"It's all my fault…" Now _that_ snapped Sirius out of his train of thoughts, he look down at the voice

"Don't say that again, Moony" he whisper, his sad eyes hide under his dark bangs

"There's no denying it, Padfoot…I'm a monster…" Remus reply sadly

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Sirius snaps, his angry voice echo through the room, he had finally had it, of so many years of hearing him say that, he won't take it anymore.He hated it every time whenRemus blame himself for something he didn't mean to do."It is not your fault, damn it! WHY! WHY! YOU OF ALL THE PEOPLE! Why? WHY THE FUCK DOES IT HAVE TO BE YOU! You…you of all the people…"

Nothing could be heard except Sirius's heavy breath. Remus reach out his scared hand and softly touches Sirius's. Sirius held on to it tight.

They stay like that for a while, with James still curl up in a ball by the corner, wondering what tomorrow will bring.

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******You see that beautiful button that said 'Go' in that corner? Press it; you know you want to...**


	2. First day

**Thank you for every single review you leave me! I promise I'll write to you all in the next chapter, but I'm soooooo tired! Please don't be mad! I'll make it up to you! Now,**

**Enjoy… **

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_**First day**_

_Have you heard about Lily Evans?_

_She's blind, isn't she? _

_Yes, that's what I heard_

_Oh, here she comes._

_She really is blind!_

_Aw, look at her; she has to be walked by an elf! _

Lily squeezes the elf's hand tight as the whispered voice hit her ears. Somehow, losing her sight gain her hearing ability, something she wishes it would go away. She rather be deaf too then to hear people talk about her-in such a pity way.

Lily wanted to run away, to hide from the people, people who feel sorry for her. Hide from everything, most of them all, from James Potter. He would have a good laugh at her once he sees her again; he would say it in her face that he told her so.

Lily has no one now; she had stopped talking to her friends, knowing that they'll still be her friend if she let them because they pity her. They don't really want her…who would want to take care of her?

She suddenly stopped; Lily could feel two small hands tugging at her own, motion her to sit down. Once she is seated, she could hear a sound of a chair scooting over by her. The cute looking elf seated herself down beside her mistress; she had a bright smile on her face, happy to be serving the most prettiest and the nicest witch in Hogwarts. The small elf was wearing a white clean dress that goes to her small knees, and small pair of white socks. Dumbledore had asked her to be Lily's servant and bodyguard, and she had agreed in a heart beat.

The elf took out Lily's book with her small hands and laid it in front of Lily

"Here you go, Miss Lily" she said in her small high pinch voice

"What is it, Pinky?" Lily ask softly

"It is a book, Miss Lily" she replies

"Um, I can't read, Pinky…" Lily said, her voice level still the same. She didn't want anybody to hear her talk, to know that she's there. But little did she know that every single head in the room had turn to her since she had walked into the classroom.

"Pinky is sorry Miss! Pinky is so sorry! Pinky forget!" the elf squeaked when she sees her mistress sad face. Pinky immediately hit her head on the table, the loud bang made Lily jump. Lily immediately reaches her hands out blindly to stop the elf. When she feels the fabric of Pinky's dress, sheand yank on it in order to pull Pinky away from the table.

"Pinky, it's okay, please stop" she begs, feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed.

James watched as Lily helplessly tried to hold the small elf back and telling it to stop hitting itself. He wanted nothing more then to jump in the chair next to her, and talk to her, protecting her. Anything that would make her smile again…anything.

But he was too scared…she might blame him for what happen. Like he blamed himself. He could have safe her in that fearful night, he could have run faster…

James took a careful look at her again, she was sitting two rows in front of him by his right, her auburn hair was neatly tied back in two French braid that stops at her ears, andher pony tail stops at her shoulder length, a few strands of hair fell over the side of her face. Her emerald eyes stair blankly to space, she's so beautiful to him...always had.

Lily wonders when the class will start; it seems that the teachers are not in yet, judging by the buzzing noise of people talking. Lily feel a little nerves since this is her second time back at Hogwarts, and the term had only start a little since it was the beginning of the year, and since she had change…

"Settle down, class! Sorry I am late" Lily jump a little at the sound of McGonagall's voice "Today we welcome back Miss. Lily Evans" Lily blushed at the mention of her name, she just wish every one would just ignore her "Good to have you again dear" McGonagall's voice trailed off, and Lily's heart rose.

James could see McGonagall's face soften when she looked at Lily, it's a well known fact that Lily was her favorite student.

"We will learn how to transfer animal into glass today, every one chouse a partner"

"Pinky will be your partner, Miss Lily!" the elf said cheerfully and scrod her chair closer to her mistress

Lily only nodded, _Who else would want to be my partner? Who would want to be a partner with a useless blind person? _

"Ok, now everybody is settle. One of your partners has to come up and get your owls" explain McGonagall

"Pinky will get it Miss Lily, Miss don't worry" Pinky said before she hop of the chair and juggle her little legs to the front of the classroom.

Lily sigh, how will this work? Why can't she be home schooled? Lily really likes Pinky, but she doesn't want people to see her like this, to be walked like a dog by an elf! She wonders what her hair looks like; she let Pinky do her hair today and it feel quite nice when she touch them, it feels like it's been braided. Oh well people won't look at her anyways.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? An ugly blind mudblood, how does it felt, Miss perfect? To not be so perfect anymore? You disgust me, mudblood, you should have died instead of become blind, you people filth this school. You're useless, you should get your ugly face out of Hogwarts, no one wants you, bitch, so get the hell out" an unfamiliar female voice sneer as her.

Lily blink, shock and scared to her stomach. The word sink in to her one by one, she felt hurt. What had she ever done to that person? Did she know her? But for sure, who ever is talking right now must be one of the Slytherin. Lily knew better then to talk back, she knew she can't defense herself, the voice was right, she is useless. Lily could feel her eyes burning with hot tears that were threaten to come out.

"Oh, what's this? Is poor mudblood goanna cry? Where is her filthy mummy and daddy? Are they disgust in you too?" the voice said with fake baby voice.

Lily could feel her warm blood slowly sips down to her palm, she clench her fist so hard that her nail is digging into her flesh.

"Who are you?" she ask quietly, her voice's shaking

"Can blind people cry?" the same voice asks, ignoring Lily's question. As if answering to her, tears slip out of Lily's eyes, she wants to get out of here, she felt low, and she hated herself. She _should _have died instead of become blind…

"Leave me alone" she whisper

"What's that, mudblood? What did you say?" the voice mock, and then let out a bark of laugh at her

"What's going on here?" ask a voice of none other then James Potter, he took one look at Lily and his face grows red, why is she crying? Who made her cry? James turns his head to look at the girl who stand in front of Lily's desk and his heart rise.

"What did you do, Amoral?" James asks the attractive dark haired Slytherin girl.

Lily just wanted to craw into a whole and die, why does bad things always happen to her? She must have done something really bad in her previous life to be this fuck up in this one.

"Why, I did nothing, Potter. Just being friendly" she said with a smirk, she flipped her shiny black hair and licked her full pink lips at James seductively while James just shudders with disgust.

"I would appreciate it if you would stay the hell away from Evans for now on" James said, his tone dead.

Amoral just snorted and walked away, swaying her hips seductively, leaving the guys to drool after her.

"I don't need your defense, Potter" Lily said, her anger rise, she don't need help, damn it! She doesn't want Potter to pity her. She clenches her fist tighter, ignoring the hurt that shot throw her hands.

"But Evans, I can't just stand hear and listen to her insulting you" James said softly.

"I don't want help form anybody, Potter, especially from you. I deserve to be insult anyway..." Lily said, her voice even. Then suddenly she felt a pain shot throw her heart, the familiar pain she felt so many times before when ever she and James had a fight; it feels like it's going to break.

"Besides, what she said is true" she continues on "I _am_ a mudblood, I _am_ blind and useless. I should have died instead of become blind…I should given up school…" by now, her heart was trembling with pain, but she didn't feel sick, not at all, her heart was just hurting, hurting ever so badly then before. Why, she didn't know. She never know…

"Don't say that, Lily…" he said quietly, and…sounded hurt? But her name on his lips makes her unclench her fist, she felt so shooting, having him say that…It was a first time in a while since he say her first name...

James was about to say something else but a high pinch voice cut him.

"Pinky is sorry Miss, it is very hard for Pinky to carry this owl" said a panting elf who only reaches to James's knees. She was struggling to keep an owl from flying away, an owl that take up half of her little size.

"Here, let me help you with that" James said kindly and take the owl away from the elf's tiny hands and put it down gently on Lily's desk.

"You is so kind! Thank you, sir" Pinky said with a bow and climb up to the chair she's been previously sitting on. The elf's eyes almost pop out of its head when she saw her mistress' hand.

"Miss Lily is hurt! Miss Lily is hurt!" she said hotly, picking up Lily's hand to take a closer look at it. James snatch Lily's hand away from Pinky and takes a look at it worriedly himself, he saw a cut across her palm and nothing more before she quickly snatch it away from his reach.

Once again, Lily's heartache, she put her hands down to her laps and look down.

"Please leave me alone…" she whisper

Silence fell between them, and Pinky looked between the two worriedly

"If that's what you want…" he answers before quietly walking away, he sit at his seat and look over at her, he'll watch over her from here. No matter what she'll say, he'll protect her. Always.

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**:Smile nervously at the quit audience: Umm…I know the ending is not very well done, but i'm very sleepy...and i want to update for all my lovely reviewer as soon as i can :Smile triedly: I hope i didn't dissapoint you...Good night :Yawn: Bui bye!**


	3. The past about us

**I have no excuse what so ever for being late. Well, I kindda do but it's kind of stupid so lets not here it. For those of you who review my story. Do you have any idea how powerful you are towards me? If not for you, this story will end at chapter 2. So thank you so much for pushing me. I love you guys so much! **

**WARING! You might find this chapter full spelling and grammar mistakes because I can't contact my beta. I didn't talk to her in a while and I lost track of her. If you're reading this, PLEASE COME BACK! I NEED YOU! So anyone who can't stand reading bad written fic, I suggest you not to read this. It will only annoy the heck out of you! I'm sorry!**

**Ok, here's my thanks to,**

**_Aquarius21, _****_Flame Of Desire, _****_hpjsr, _****_DestinyCalls, _****_Boy-Crazy Bookworm, _****_Lady of Masbolle_****_, me, _****_cookiedoughicecream, _****_Kuonra, _****_miss-mags-ak, _****_MonkeyGurl1_****_, Kleo, _****_FluffyPinkSlippers_****_, anmarie, Jennifer Cole. _**

**_Ranitta: _**_I love long reviews! That you so much for supporting me! I swear I didn't mean to make any one sad! I don't feel a thing when I wrote the first chapter, lol, I guess I'm cold hearted! Amoral IS a bitch, its ok, everyone hates her, including me! But I do thank her for making my story have more colors into it though. Pinky is my buddy! I like her a lot too, she's a cutie pie. Anyways, thank you again for your long review! I hope you like this chapter!_

**_Bacon Yu A Pie: _**_Your name is so yummy it makes me hungry. No, Lily didn't cut herself, she clinch her fist too heard. Yeah, it sounds stupid but it could happen! Few people told me the same thing too! About the other fic that have Lily blind in it. I check it out and I love it! Anyways, thanks for reviewing! I hope you won't stop!_

**_Bridget Clarke: _**_Your review blows me away! I feel so honor to have someone saying that about my story! I love you! Marry me! I hope this chapter won't disappoint you…I have low self-esteem about myself as you can see. I really don't believe in myself much. But reviews like yours just kept me going on. Thank you!_

_**Jasu: **I read it! Oh, its sooo sweet! Thank you so much for introduce me to that fic! It was truly beautiful written. Your review makes me melt! I write this chapter longer specially just for you! Even though it's not that long but its longer then I normally write! Anyways, thank you so much for supporting me! Lots of love! I hope you like this chapter too!_

**_SirusLivesOn: _**_I love your name cause for me, Sirius will lives on too, dame it! Lol, anyways, did you really cry! I didn't feel a thing when I wrote the chapter! Omg! I'm cold hearted! Thank you so much for supporting me! Like I said, reviews had so much power over me! It's like an energy drink. I hope you like this chapter as well! _

_**Thanks everyone! I hope you all like this chapter as much as I do!**_

**:Drum rolls:**

**Let the drama beings!**

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_**The past about us…**_

Lily wish James would come back and sit with her…But he didn't… Yes, she told him to leave her alone, but every other time she told him too, he never did so. Why now? Why did he do what she told him to now? Why now when she's blind?

_Who would want to be seen with a blind person? _The voice within her asks, and she frowns.

"No one" she answers quietly. He won't ask her out anymore…he won't look at her way anymore…he would look at someone else who's perfect, someone who could see…

She wish she could have said yes to him… She cares for him and no one knows it but her. Every beginning of the month, he would show up to class late and look so beaten up. It worries her so much that she would have nightmares about him. That was why she followed him that night…she just wanted to know who would hurt him so much in such a way. What she found out made her fall for him even more. He's loyalty to his friends was greater then anything. She wish she could have him as a friend too, at least if that's how far she could get to him. She did trust him once, but what she got back from him was a mark in her hart. The mark that reminded her not to trust James Potter ever again.

She wonders and wonders if he had forgotten… Their sweet second year together…Lily smile sadly at this thought and fought back her tears.

She was his secret girlfriend…and he was her first ever boyfriend…she thought it was a game they play…she was too young to really know…

He lied…she never asked him why they can't tell anyone, but she found out the hared way…

"_Did you tell anyone, Lily?" James ask, his eyes full of concern _

"_No James, I didn't…You said I'm your secret girlfriend. That means I can't let anyone know, right?" she said with a smile and lean into him. They were under his invisibility cloak, sitting by the lake. The half moonlight shone down the lake, making the dark night bright. _

"_Right…but Sirius acts like he knows…" James frowns, he was thinking heard, and Lily giggles at his serious face. _

_He looked down at her and smile, all the trace of concern left his face as soon as he met her eyes. _

_He strokes her hair gently before bending down and captures her lips with his. Familiar warm sparks ran throw their vain at their contact, making both of them lean in more into each other's warmth._

_She loves him…_

_Lily lay down on her bed awake that night. She couldn't sleep, her mind and heart was lost … She misses him already! They have just said their good byes, and here she is, yearning for him again. _

_Then so she set up on her bed, making sure none of her roommates was awake, and sneak quietly out of the second year dorm and down to the clod stone steps. _

"_Are you hiding a secret from me, mate?" ask Sirius Black who was sitting on the couch near the fire. Lily quickly hid herself behind the stair curtains, not wanting Black to know that she's there. _

"_Of course not!" James said rather too quickly and Sirius narrows his eyes at this. Lily smile at her secret boyfriend's voice_

"_Humm…really? Tell me, buddy. What is going on between you and Lily Evans? I saw you two making eye contact like a love sick puppy"_

_Lily held her breath at the mention of her name 'Is James finally going to tell people about us?' she wonders, her small heart hope against hope that he will. She wants every girl to know that he's taken. _

"_Nothing is going on between us! I swear!" James said irritated, but all Sirius did was narrowing his eyes even lower. _

_Lily's heart sank at his answer and turn to go back upstairs when his words stop her._

"_You know I'll never date a muggle born!" _

…

'_I'll never date a muggle born…' _

_Those words had hang in her head like a dead body, she close her eyes and tries to stop her tears from falling out more. She pulls the blanket closer to her body to warm herself, trying to replace the cold and emptiness in her soul. _

_He was embarrass…_

_Embarrass of her…embarrass of being with her…_

_Now she get it…She won't blame him though…It's not his fault that he's embarrass of being with her…It's her fault for being a muggle born…_

_A pure blood wizard wouldn't want to be seen with muggle born. Simple. She should have got it a long while ago…_

_Tomorrow she'll save him the trouble. She'll end it for him so he won't have to feel bad… Their five months of secret relationship will be over by tomorrow…_

…

"_Morning, Lily!" James greeted her quietly, afraid that anyone would hear them in the empty corridor. The bell rang and they're goanna be late if they don't hurry. _

"_Hi James" came Lily reply, her voice was as quite as his. _

"_Did you sleep well?" he asks her smiling. Lily only nod and he knew then that something was wrong._

"_You okay, Lily?" he ask, stroking her cheek. _

"_Let's end it James…" she said_

_James was confuse, he title his head a little and ask her what she had meant. _

"_Theirs this guy, James…I like him…" she told him ever so quietly, she won't meet his eyes, and he was glad that she didn't…cause she'll see so much hurt in them. He wouldn't want her to know that she had hurt him…_

"_So you wanna break it off, huh?" he asks, trying every inch of his might to sound normal. _

"_Yeah…"_

"_Alright…so…who's the guy that you like?" James force himself to ask, he's heart was trebling with pain, never before had he ever feel this way. _

_He loves her…_

"_Um… Wood, Oliver Wood… he's muggle born…Just like me…"_

_The second bell rang; signaling that the first class had began. _

"_Wood, huh? He's a good person…he'll be good for you…"_

"_Yeah…" was all she said_

"_Good luck getting him…"_

"_Thanks…" Lily looks up at him and meets his eyes for the first time that day. No trace of hurt could be found, and then slowly, he gives her a smirk_

"_See you around… Evans…" and with that said James quickly turns around and walk away._

_It was not till many years later that he had call her Lily again. _

James closes his eyes, swallowing the old painful memory of how he lost his first girlfriend.

Apart of the reason why he asked her out non stop in front of the public is to show Lily that she got him wrong…he'll love her no matter what blood line she's in…but it was all too late when he had figure it out that himself…she won't trust him again anytime soon. He'll have to grin and bare it when he sees her in the arm of some other guy.

The bell ring, signaling that the first class had ended and to start a new one

James told his friends that he'll catch up with them later and look over to where Lily and her elf helper were. He follows them carefully out of the class room and into the hall. He kept his distance, wanting to watch over her from far away.

_**Slam!**_

James's bag went straight to the floor, sending all of his stuff out of the bag as something soft smash rather hard into him, making him sway a little.

"Are you alright?" he asks a rather good looking Revenclaw girl who was looking dizzy on the floor. He then, lends a hand to help her up.

"Um…huh? Yeah! I'm fine!" she stutters when she looks up and saw the person who she bumps into. "Um, sorry…I was…running…away from a guy…heehee…"

"Why are you running away from a guy? Is he bothering you?" he ask concern, the dark haired girl blush at this

"No…he just won't quit asking me out, so I run away to get ride of him…" James laughs at his, that sounded so much like him…and Lily…

Lily! He forgot to watch over her!

James quickly scans throw the faded crowd and frown when he didn't see any sight of red.

"Well, I have to go to class. See you around and good luck with the guy that's chasing after you, give him a chance, you might not regret it." James suggests and she nods, she bit her good byes and walks off with a dreamy smile.

After picking up his things and put it back in his bag, he walk off to the now empty corridors, thinking that Lily must have got to class already.

Looking ahead of him, he saw a fade group of student talking and looking deeply interest at something in side the circle group they made.

But as James walk closer, he realize that the group of student was non other then the Slyiherin gang. He was about to turn to the other corridor to avoid the trouble when he heard the insult one of the Slyiherin gang said. He turns around and looks carefully at the group, and as he expected, there was some one inside the circle.

"You're so fucking hot, Evans. It doesn't really matter to me what you are, with those tits of yours', you would make great sex slave. It doesn't matter if you're blind either, as long as you cloud scream, and that will do. I heard mudblood has great pussy, can't wait to find out"

James's face heats up as he realizes who the gang was picking on. He can't even describe how he feels at that moment when he heard what they had said to her.

As long as he lives, no one is touching Lily in that kind of way. He was her first kiss, and he'll be her first time as well. He is sure as hell will make sure that he's going to be her only one at that.

James took out his wand as the blonde headed boy loom over closer to her.

No one is hurting his Lily. Let alone, touch her.

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**Ok, say it with me slowly, "Review makes Pammapoo write." See? That's not heard! "Review makes Pammapoo write". Now, don't just say it! Do it! And i promiss that next chapter will be more of James and Lily.**


	4. Stand by me

**Ok, before you throw your living equipment at me, please hear me out! Ok, my computer was very sick, so my mom bought me a new laptop! Though, the laptop it self is not quite new…anyways, it turns out that the laptop doesn't have the Microsoft Word program with it! I was freaked! And it's too late to use my old computer because my mom gave it to her friend (without my permission!) So I was like, ok, I'll buy the program and install it to my laptop! But nooooo, for there, the freaking program is $150! I mean, what the freak! So I have to save up my own money since my mom already do more then enough for me. That's why it took me long to update. And for those who are waiting for 'Apart form you' don't worry, I'm not abandoning that story, I'm just too lazy…a rock hits my head Hey! I'll update! (someday…) ouch! 'People are mean!' **

**Thank you so much to my new and improve the loveliest beta in the whole world! Bri, I loooove you! You made me complete, Darling!**

**And thank you every one for your support and your lovely comment! You made my day! **

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_**Stand by me…**_

"Lily! Are you all right? Did they hurt you in anyway?" James exclaimed as he knelt down beside her. There was blood running down from his cheek and was now seeping into his white clean shirt, but he didn't care, all that matter now was Lily. Her elf helper was lying on the floor; unconscious from the hexes the Slytherin gang had thrown at her to keep her away from Lily.

Lily was sitting up on the floor, her skirt hook up to her thigh, showing off her white creamy, voluptuous, very welcoming, thigh.

James swallowed hard, Lily probably didn't even know that her skirt was up.

"I'm-I'm okay…" she replies shakily, her beautiful emerald eyes looked down to her lap. Oh, how she wished she could see…so she could walk away on her own… for some reason she felt light, everything seemed like a blur, but she shook it off, thinking that it was nothing.

"Umm…where's Pinky?" Lily asks, shifting herself a little to fumble on the floor, in hope to feel Pinky's present, she don't want to be alone, especially with James Potter. Lily's movement made her skirt hook further up even more, making James sweat nervously in his position. He's not so sure if he could stand looking at her revealing thigh without touching it, too.

"She's knocked out, but she'll be fine," he answers. Lily stop fumbling around the floor, now feeling more alone than ever

"Oh…"

He reach out his hand shakily to where the hem of her skirt was, praying to god that she won't slap him if she misunderstood of what he was doing.

James slowly slid the hem of her skirt down and winced when he felt her freeze. He quickly pulled his hand back alongside his own body when the hem stoped at her upper knee, where it should be.

Lily's face heat up when she realize what was going on. Her skirt had been up! And James saw God knows what of her! How embarrassing! He was sliding it back down for her… Lily blushed deeper at that.

"Um…thanks Potter…I guess…" she said, feeling as though she was dieing of embarrassment. James noticed her shyness and smiled idiotically to himself.

"Don't worry, Lily. I didn't see anything you didn't want me to." Lily's face was now as red as her hair. James couldn't help but chuckle; _she's so cute when she blushes…_

"Here, let's get you up" James reach out his left hand to hold hers and put his other hand to her lower back, helping her up.

As much as Lily hated being helped by James, she really enjoyed him touching her…she wonders if he would touch her somewhere else other then her hands…somewhere else more private…_NO! _Lily nearly smacked her forehead for thinking something that naughty, what had gotten in to her? Where the heck did that came from!

"Thanks…" she whisper "What about Pinky?" she add worriedly.

"I'll send her to the kitchen; the other elves will take care of her. Don't worry Lily, I won't leave you…" he said gently.

"But I don't want you to help me" Lily said stubbornly, she _hated _him, she had to!

James's smile disappeared, he suddenly feel the urge to be alone… Alone like always.

"I'll find someone else to help you then…" he said quietly and looked away.

"Good" she spat, but can't help but feel miserable at his sad voice. She then felt a large warm hand grab her wrist gently, leading her way through the corridor slowly. James kept quite the whole way, not wanting to annoy her. Pinky was floating in the air unconsciously behind them.

"We're almost there…who do you want to help you?" James asks "Cleaver?" he suggest, knowing Lily use to hang out with the girl

Lily suddenly stops as she realizes something. She didn't want to be helped by anyone. They would just made fun of her…or pity her…She didn't want to face anyone; she didn't want anyone to know that she existed.

"Lily, what's wrong?" James ask as he jerked backwards at the suddenness of her stop.

"Please take me somewhere else…anywhere without people," she pleaded hopefully.

James looks at her painfully, hating himself for not saving her…for not doing anything faster… He'd do anything to make her feel alive again. Anything.

"Alright."

……

"Where are we?" Lily asked as they stopped.

James smiled down at her, and looked out to the peaceful lake in front of them. They were standing under a tree, using its shadow to hide them from the other's view. Not many people knew about this place; it was at the further side of the great lake. It was hidden by tons of trees that most people thought that it was a part of the forbidden forest. Beautiful flowers were surrounding them everywhere, birds were singing with joy on the tall grateful magical tree. James breathes in the familiar sense surrounding him, and looked out to the great lake once again.

"Guess, Lily…" James said softly, still holding her hand

"Umm…I give up" Lily reply, she smiled, a secret smile, she had just realized that James hadn't let go of her hand.

"But you haven't even tried!" he laugh then look down at her, his eyes suddenly cloud with sadness. "We use to come here all the time, Lily…"

Her heart jerked, she knew where they were; _he brought us to our place…_

"Sorry…I don't remember…" Lily fibbed, trying to look blank.

_So I was right…she has forgotten…_ He slowly let go of her hand then and looked away…

"It's ok…it's not important anyway…"

Silence once again fell between them and Lily started to regret what she had said, all she really wanted was to feel his large warm hand cover hers again.

Lily carefully seated herself down on the grass, this time making sure that the hem of her skirt reached above her knees to where it was supposed to be.

"Come sit with me, James…" said Lily softly, snapping him out of his thoughts, the thoughts that were full of her, of their second year together…

The sadness in his eyes slowly fades away when his name was said. He missed her calling him that…

He quietly sat down, but kept his distance. Knowing that Lily wouldn't like him being too close…

"So, what are you planning to do after you graduate, Lily?" he asked, breaking the silence between them.

"I want to be a healer. I've always wanted to become one after my dog died when I was ten…" Lily said, blushing at her silliness, why did she tell him the reason why she wants to become one anyway?

James smiles at that, he can't picture any girl being sweeter then her…

"I'm sorry about your dog…did you have any new ones?" he ask, wanting the conversation to go on forever

"No…I don't want to…"

"Why not?"

"Oww."

"What?" James turns his head to look at her, wondering what it was she about to say,

"My head hurts, oww" Lily moaned, she raised her hands, massaging her temples, but it wasn't helping, the more she tried to think, the more it hurt

"Are you ok?"

"I'll be okay, don't worry…" her head felt light again and this time she felt like she was drifting off to sleep.

Lily suddenly felt hot, her stomach flipped and her headache increased, it felt as if her brain was attempting to escape from her skull. Everything was a blur, her eyes drifted closed and she felt like her body was shutting down, but then her skin felt cooler, and she relaxed.

"Lily! What are you doing!"

James's eyes almost pop out of his head when Lily begin to strip off her clothes, one minute she was taking off her cloak and then her shirt was off, leaving her in a lazy red bra with her big, soft breasts popping out of it. He looked down to her flat stomach, her creamy skin shining, begging for his touch, he quickly swallowed as he started to snap out of it

"Lily!" but she wasn't listening, she was working her way on her skirt, trying to take it off too. "Damn it, Lily!" he exclaims as he quickly crawled beside her as she struggled with the button on her skirt.

James slaps his hands over hers, stopping her, but Lily quickly jerked her hands away then reached out and grab him by his shirt, pulling him to her roughly.

James yelped as he fall on her, "Lily, what are you doing?" he was on top of her now, his face only an inch a way from her beautiful ones

"Touch me…" she hissed, running her hands up and down his chest.

_Whoa, _James froze, "What? Lily are you alright?" he asked nervously, something was definitely wrong. He brushed her hair through his fingers softly, looking at her closely with concern.

"Touch me James, please touch me…" her voice was soft and pleading.

"Lily, this is not you, what's wrong? Oh god, what is it!" he lifted his hand and gently touched her cheek, stroking it with his thumb "What is it, Lily? What?" he asked soothingly, his eyes search her face. Lily raises her hand to touch his, and slowly sliding it down from her cheek to cup at her heavy soft breast. James gulp, _shit, she feels good _he thought unwillingly. "God, Lily, what are you doing? What has gotten in to you?"

"Kiss it, James, lick it. Fill me up. Please…touch me…take me…do what ever you want with me…" she pleaded, her eyes were now closed.

_Holy mother of god, what the hell did she just say! _James quickly jerked his hands away, rather unwillingly. Something is wrong here. What or who did this to her? What is it that cost her to-

_Wait- _

_Fuck! Of cores! The Slytherins! Fuck! Damn it! What did they do to her! _James thought angrily as he sat up, her legs still wrapped around his waist. He looked down at her and his heart skipped a beat, she was beautiful beyond words, her cheeks was flushed, her silky red hair spared beneath her head, his eyes can't help it but roam over her beautiful perfect body.

James shook his head to clear off his dirty mind, and this time trying to focus only at her face.

"Lily, can you get up?" he ask, getting himself fully off of her but Lily quickly grab his arms, and pull him closer to her again

"James, don't leave me...I need you..." she begged again, her eyes were now open, trying to search throw the darkness at his way.

"I'm not leaving you, Lily, I'm right here..." he said and couldn't help it but smile, he knew this is not the fully real Lily, but he can't help but felt so happy having her needing him...it has been so long since she last want him to be close to her.

"Then why are you getting up?" she ask frowning

"We need to get back, Lily, people will notice that we're gone" he explain, but didn't really give a crap of what people would think, he just want to keep Lily safe in his dorm and wait till the rest of the marauder to get back form classes and ask Remus for help.

"But I don't want to go, James…I want to stay hear with you…Don't you want to stay with me?" she ask, her voice small, her face fill with hurt and sadness

"Why wouldn't I want to be with you, Lily? Your all I've ever wanted…We just need to get back to the castle and then we could spend some times in my dorm, okay?" he explains again while stroking her hair gently.

"Okay…but will you touch me then? When we get back to your dorm?" she asks innocently, not knowing that her question is anything but.

"Umm…uh…yeah, I'll, um, I'll…t-touch you when we get to my dorm" he swallowed; this is going to be one hell of a day.

"Ok! Let's go now!" exclaim Lily as she was getting up, her skirt sliding down a bit when she moved to get up, but James quickly held her back, knowing what will happen if she fully got up.

"What is it, James?"

"Here, put your cloths back on, Lily" said James almost shyly, shoving her blouse in her hands and looked away.

"But it's too hot to put anything on!" she whined.

"But Lily, people are going to see you barely covered! I don't want anyone else to see your barely naked body, Lily! Please, put something on" he pleaded; he was now looking at her again. Those voluptuous breasts of hers' are now making his lower body parts stiff like crazy.

"Umm…okay…can you put it on for me, James?" she ask sweetly, and James swallow heard

"Fine…" he pulls her shirt off of her hands and help her put it on, he tries to button her shirt up as quickly as he can when he reaches her chest area, but that only makes him screw up all the buttons and have to fix it again, and again, by the third time he got it right, his face was as red as Lily's hair.

"Oh James, take me now, you took so long, I don't want to wait till we reach your dorm" said Lily, her voice was low, her hands was reaching up to touch his chest again

"No, Lily, I'm almost done" he quickly zips her skirt back up and helps Lily up to her feet. He took Lily's hand away form his chest and held it gently all the way back to his dorm.

……

"**Where **the fuck is Prongs? He's been gone all day!" Sirius Black exclaimed as he walked in to the Gryffindor comment room.

"He can't be off shagging girls, could he?" Remus asks trying shoving his book in to his bag.

"No, Prongs isn't like that. He fools around with girls, but he doesn't play them like that, you know that."

"But what else could he be doing? He wasn't sick or anything this morning" said Remus, turning his head to look at Sirius, he looked thoughtful.

"Maybe he's in the dorm?" Sirius suggested.

"Yeah, let's go."

Both boys skip up the stairs easily in three seconds. When they finally reach the door Sirius quickly swung it open and stepped in, the sight on the bed before him made him think that he had accidentally walked into a porn studio…

* * *

**Ooooh….a porn studio, you say? Exactly what happen at porn studio? Anybody know? I don't…(Muahahaha) Ok, ok, it's nothing like you think, we'll just see what happen, shall we? Until next time, every one! I love you and please review no matter how suck it is!**


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